What do you want?

Often people are so wrapped up in their problem that their pre-frontal cortex – the rational thinking part of our brain – shuts down, so they can’t think of what they actually want to happen.

Instead they can fixate on what is not working, playing over and over again past injustices, or trying to understand what’s ‘wrong’ with their partner.

So the following conversation can go on between a therapist and a client…


You can see that the client is so stressed/upset by the challenges in their life that they can’t think what they actually do want. They fixate, for example, on why they think their partner is as ‘screwed up’ as they perceive them to be!

Whatever your challenge, find a way to take time out, relax, think of what you really want, and then think of the steps you can take to make that happen.

If possible, talk through possible ways forward with a good friend, or someone like me.